My mother and father met in London in the 1970’s, he was in a seminary training to be a priest and she was studying for a theology degree. They were together for two years but when he found out my mother was pregnant with me my father left her, having previously said he probably wasn’t going to become a priest. He and a senior priest asked my mother if she wanted to have me adopted, she said no. They then insisted on a plan of secrecy, where my father would carry on and become a priest and have the right to complete anonymity. She asked if they could wait until I was born to make any decisions but they said no. For fourteen years all contact had to go through the senior priest, my mother couldn’t contact my father directly.  I met my father for the first time when I was fourteen; he said he didn’t want to meet me again until I was older. We met a few times when I was in my twenties there was a distinct lack of love, warmth and empathy on his part.  A Cardinal also knew and helped with the secrecy.